Prep for Marriage

I've learned a lot of great things this week that will help with marriage relationships and prep for that huge step. One thing we discussed is  how important dating is. Not hanging out, or hooking up, but real dating. It's an opportunity to find out more about a person and how will they will be able to perform the tasks of marriage. We reviewed dating to be defined as planned for, paid for, and paired off. But why is dating so important for marital success? What does it tell about a person? It says a lot about a guy in particular and here's why. It is believed in our religion that three main male responsibilities are to provide, preside, and protect. Look at the connection between these the definition of dating and marital responsibilities of men. While dating if he is doing these things, he is preparing himself for a better successful marriage. Provide connects to paid for, protect connects to paired off, and preside connects to planned for. The guys are in charge of paying for the activities during dating and earning money for his family. If he is protecting his date while they are together not only from outside influences but also from himself during the date, you know he will be a good defender for a future family, and if he has thought ahead and planned the date well in advance, he is more likely to preside over events and important activities that go on in the home and will be active in the execution. Our qualities should nurture each others righteous roles.
Continued courting is also essential after marriage. Couples who don't do that are basically sharing meals, completing everyday tasks, and helping each other with schooling or kids. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's so important to spend time together. Not only does doing activities help you stay closer but it adds more quality to the relationship. Work hard together and play hard together.
The way a relationship starts and develops from the very beginning sets the couple up for success or problems in the future, how we do or did date correctly plays a major role and it seems society has redefined the meaning of dating just like the word marriage. While dating we are able to see a person from difference angles and notice red flags or positive signs. When attaching to someone it's important to go over similarities of beliefs, values, likes, dislikes, plans, preferences for the future to limit problems etc. Make sure you both have a similar game plan. When we have more shared between someone, we have more in which to connect with. The more you share expectations, culture, values, etc. we learn to accommodate one another.
Remember to consider your family support as well in the relationship. Friends and family who generally are happy and approve of a union will help strengthen the couple.
We discussed a lot about why cohabitation is a bad precursor to marriage. It's pretty much being roommates with benefits, a trial that indicates laziness to committed to one another in making tough decisions. Many people use it as an alternative to "test the waters" and see if it will work, but they are setting themselves up for failure. People who cohabit are five times more likely to separate because they are me-oriented and are not prepping themselves in the right way for marriage. You live an individual life by cohabiting that won't get you in the mindset of working as a team through easy and hard times. The mindset of cohabiting is if things get hard, then i'm going to leave. It's not a realistic union for the future becasue marriage is and living with another person is all about working together through problems, differences, and difficulties. Anything that life throws out.
When making the choice to be married it is up to the couple and Heavenly Father. There isn't a right time, there is only the best time. Some put a reasonable time limit to how long it's safe to date before getting engaged. There's is no magic number, only the most appropriate time for the couple under God's direction.
We talked about how there will be road blocks along the way during not only dating but in marriage. Satan will try in every way to pull a marriage apart even after the sealing. Sometimes through contention, challenges, or difficulties. Choose your mate wisely so you both may know how to combat him and stay close to each other.