A Beautiful Life

This week we talked about divorce and dealing with step families. It's such a rough subject because of how sad and emotionally painful severing this relationship can be for not only the couple but the entire family. My personal belief on divorce when you married someone it was because you fell in love with them for certain reasons. Hopefully that relationship was based on finding more about this person through appropriate dating and coming to adore their personality and how that affects you as a person. Try to save that relationship and remember how you came to love them. Love has to do with selfless service to your spouse and constant hard work to care and foster that relationship. Many people believe that when two individuals in a marriage give an even 50% of themselves, it'll produce a sufficient 100% to get through life together. That may work, but a truly happy and blissful marriage consists of both husband and wife giving their all, a complete 100% from both, to have a strong relationship. That doesn't mean there will never be disagreements or problems that occur, it means that if we are giving 100% to our spouse and being self-less, committed, enduring, forgiving, loyal, understanding, loving etc., we will be able to work through those problems easier. With all this in mind, if a spouse is literally jeopardizing the health and safety of his or her family, then it's appropriate to separate, and I understand that. But if a couple is separating because they've decided they aren't in love anymore, that's a very selfish act that will undoubtedly hurt the entire family and do more damage. Any children in the family are direct victims in feeling extreme stress and disappointment as they endure through the painful divorce of their mom and dad. It's true that 70% of people who get a divorce say that they could've made it work, so how do we work to keep those bonds strong between our spouse. I believe open communication is a huge factor that will keep a couple close. Communicate love and affection to each other and be generous with expressing your love. Talk about problems, disagreements, feelings, be attentive to behaviors, and always actively listen and sincerely care about the words and feelings of your husband or wife. Cleave to your spouse and go to them for everything and continue to spend time to court each other. Marriage takes hard work, but you the whole family will benefit from it.
It's important for children to see their mom and dad in love and expressing it. It sets them up for success and proper up bringing as it aids their emotional growth and development.
All of us have a choice how we will respond to things that happen to us. We can choose to be happy or sad about our lives no matter the outcome. We can really have a beautiful life if we decide today to be positive about who we are and what we have and make the most out of what we've got.
I've learned so much in my Family Relations class and with all the knowledge that i've gained I feel like i'm more prepared to be a better wife and mother to my future spouse and children. My constant goal will be to live a beautiful life full of love, service, and laughter.

Parenting

This week in class we talked all about parenting. The idea and hope is to protect and prepare kids to survive and thrive in society. We talked about the four character traits that we need to establish in our kids.
Courage: going beyond risk to do the right thing. Respect: how we should treat a person. To elevate someone to a better and higher level. Responsibility: the ability to respond to opportunities and challenges. Developing wisdom and strength to carry through. Cooperation: effectively work together to accomplish a goal. These are essential values we hope to establish in children, but sometimes our approach on how to do that isn't always the most beneficial. But the most important thing to remember when teaching our children is to build a strong relationship with them. That will be the strongest most beneficial factor as they learn and grow. 
 Effective communication is so important when making strong relationships with our family and children. But that can also be one of the most difficult things to develop and takes time. We were required to watch some video from Active Parenting Publishers, which I recommend watching, and they talked about how we should communicate with others. Number one is listen. Pay attention to words, tone of voice, and nonverbal cues.
Second is to respond to feelings. When someone is talking to you, and they had a bad day, sympathize with them and what they're going through and the emotions they're feeling. Third is so check for understanding. Make sure you both are on the same page, and if there is a disagreement, do so in a calm manor.
There are three different styles of parenting, those are Autocratic, Permissive, and Active.
Permissive parents give their children too make freedom and no boundaries. This only creates unrealistic expectations for their children as they get a sense that they can get away with anything and have no limits.

Autocratic/Authoritarian parents are strict. They give little to no freedom to their children and have overly set boundaries. This does not help a child to develop the feeling they need of individualism and freedom they need as they grow into adults.
Active parents are engaged, loving, and are interested in their children's lives. They set limits and boundaries but allow their children to have the freedom they need within those boundaries to establish that sense of
individualism.
What's going to matter the most in the end is a relationship motivated by love and respect in a family.